So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
