We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
