there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
