You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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