Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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