I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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