im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
