Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
