in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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