that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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