its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
