WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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