Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
