4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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