i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
