is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
As shirtless as possible
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
