I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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