Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
