You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
