my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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