My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
