thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
