I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
