She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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