umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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