I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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