I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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