I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
