Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
