epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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