Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
