She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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