There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
