go do what you do best...puke behind churches
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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