Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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