I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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