i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who died my cat blue again?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
