We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
