No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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