I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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