what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
