I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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