her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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