Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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