I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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