Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
