i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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