he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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