Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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