Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
