At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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