i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
