Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
