I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
