i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
