She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
