You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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