Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
