do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
