Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
