look no pants
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
