If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i dont even know how to be here
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's blow job season.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
