I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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