sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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