Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
