somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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