I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize