pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
